


He never stopped falling

by imreallybadatusernames



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 10:43:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4603767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imreallybadatusernames/pseuds/imreallybadatusernames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His head was running through a thousand calculations per second. Possible escape routes, ways of rendering the woman in front of him harmless, but his mind felt like a hamster wheel, spinning round and round without making any actual progress.</p>
<p>“You’re in love with John. My John.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	He never stopped falling

”You’re in love with him”

He should have expected this. He really should have.

“With whom?”

“Oh Sherlock, you know exactly who.”

Marys’ head was cocked to one side, a gun clasped tightly in her pale hands. Sherlock tried not to think about what had happened the last time she had worn this expression on her face. He forced himself to breathe. In, and out. In, and out.

“I’m afraid not, care to enlighten me?”

His head was running through a thousand calculations per second. Possible escape routes, ways of rendering the woman in front of him harmless, but his mind seemed like a hamster wheel. Spinning round and round without making any actual progress.

“You’re in love with John. My John.”

The last time he was here, at St. Barts’ rooftop, he’d had a clear plan and The British government to back him up. This time he was all alone.

“Look, Mary, can we just talk-“

“I’m done talking! You will not stand between us. I will not take that risk. You will not take John from me.”

“I have never intended to ‘take’ John from you. Please, be reasonable!”

She stepped closer and the barrel of her gun was pressed to his chest, only inches from his heart. Sherlock’s pulse was fast and erratic, thumping in every part of his being. As if it wanted to make as much of an impression as possible before it would stop beating forever.

“I’m going to finish what Moriarty couldn’t” she hissed and pushed him towards the ledge from which he had jumped three years ago.

He could easily grab the gun from her hands. He could see it in his mind. She may be a trained killer, but Sherlock was fast, he could grab the gun, push her away and then… then what? Shoot her?

Sherlocks eyes fell down to the baby bump hidden below Marys black shirt. If he killed her, he would kill the baby. Johns baby. He could never to that to his doctor. He would never forgive himself, and neither would John. If he merely knocked her down to escape, she would follow him. Sherlock knew that look in her eye.

John would lose both of them.

Sherlock wanted to live. But more than that, he wanted John to be happy.

Maybe this was for the best. Sherlock had always known that Mary would grow jealous of their friendship, but he thought they could have made it work. And he never thought that she would realize his love.

He sighed.

“You can put the gun away, Mary.”

She sniggered. Happy.

“I’m glad you’re playing along so well. As the genius you are, you’ve probably already realized that you cannot hurt me without hurting John. And we wouldn’t want that, would we.”

“No.” Sherlock whispered. He stepped up on the ledge. The wind was ruffling his hair and the sun shone gleefully into his eyes, blinding him.

“He loved you, you know.” Mary sat down on the ledge next to him. “He told me all about you, and your adventures. He cried in my arms about how he missed you. And then; he moved on.”

Sherlock didn’t pretend that the tears rolling down his cheek was because the wind, or the sun. This was heartache, and grief.

“But you. You cannot move on. You love him so much it hurts. You love him so much that you’d kill for him. And you love him so much that you’d die for him.”  
Everything was too loud. Mary’s whispered truths, the wind soaring past his ears, his breath, and the beating of his own heart. One by one, every door in his mind palace was sealed shut, never to be opened again, until there was only here and now.

“Time to die for him Sherlock. It’s the only way he can be happy.”

Sherlock jumped.

**Author's Note:**

> Hya ya'll! This is just a ficlet I posted on instagram, and someone suggested I post it here, so I was like, why not? I usually don't ever read or write angst! so I might have played into every stereotype there is, but I did so unknowingly ;)) This is my first uploaded work in the Sherlock fandom but I'm planning on getting some more out sooner or later.  
> I'd love some feedback <3


End file.
